Sermon26-40Summary Eph6 "Mutual Responsibility"

Ephesians 6:1-4 theme verse Ephesians 6:4

The praise and honor and glory be to our heavenly Father who seeks true worshipers who worship Him with the Spirit and truth.

On this thirty-fifth Sunday of the year 2026, I pray that God may bless you all with the abundant grace and blessings that are ours in Jesus Christ. Sisters and brothers, last week, through Ephesians 5, we meditated on how we should build a Christian family. This week, through Ephesians 6, we would like to learn a few lessons on what kind of relationship we have to build between parents and children and how faith transfer can take place.

1) Ephesians, where we read today's text, was written by Paul around AD 60-61, while under house arrest in Rome, to help the leaders of the Ephesian church resolve the various problems they were facing — assuring believers still struggling with old idols and magic that God's power is superior, urging them to put off their old immoral way of life, and teaching the Jewish and Gentile believers that through the cross, Christ has made them one new humanity.

2) Among these, today's text, Ephesians 6:1-4, which comes after the instruction on husband and wife in chapter 5, now discusses the relationship between parents and children. Paul commands children to obey their parents, which, as we see in Exodus 20:12 and Deuteronomy 5:16, is the first commandment with a promise of long life, and instructs parents not to provoke their children to anger but to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Yet, if we look closely, this passage is, at its core, emphasizing mutual responsibility within the family — children, just like parents, have a right to be respected. Therefore, we would like to learn a few lessons, meditating together a little more deeply on today's text.

3) First, in today's text, a child should obey his or her parents "in the Lord," and a parent has to raise their children "in Christ." The Greek ἐν κυρίῳ (en kyriō), "in the Lord," does not simply limit the scope of obedience, but defines the spiritual nature of the obedience itself — a child, by obeying his or her parents, is at the same time obeying the Lord. Even Jesus Himself obeyed His earthly parents, Joseph and Mary, which shows that obedience does not mean inequality, but that voluntarily accepting this role leads to harmony and blessing.

As such, since a Christian father is, in truth, an instrument in the hand of God, he must not present himself as the ultimate authority, but make God alone the child's teacher and ruler. Therefore, "in the Lord" means that every relationship in the family is under the presence and authority of Christ, and it is only then that obedience becomes a spiritual practice, and nurture a help toward the shaping of the soul.

4) Second, this command is not one-sided, but a command of mutual responsibility, requiring every family member to be filled with the Holy Spirit. Paul emphasizes that parents must not treat their children so harshly that they feel hatred — counter-cultural against the Roman patriarchal household ethics of that time, in which a father held authority over his children but bore no responsibility for them.

The word Paul uses for "bring up," ἐκτρέφω (ektrephō), describes the way Christ nourishes and cares for the church, making clear that nurture and discipline belong to fathers as well, not only to mothers or the church. So fathers bear the weighty responsibility of discipling their own children, and must not abuse their authority or force their children to go along with their own violations of God's will.

5) Thirdly, we think about the way of spiritual nurture Paul speaks of in verse 4. "Do not provoke your children to anger" deals with the deep impact a parent's inconsistency, harshness, or neglect has on a child's spiritual growth, and calls parents to raise their children with consistency and fairness in love.

"Bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord" requires us to understand παιδεία (paideia), "discipline," as training through a parent's exemplified life, and νουθεσία (nouthesia), "instruction," as training through the word — encouragement and, at times, correction. Together they are two sides of the same coin, shaping a child through both godly example and godly teaching.

6) Then sisters and brothers! Two more things. First, a child's obedience is called the first commandment with a promise of long life. Yet we need to know the difference between the child's "obedience," ὑπακούω (hypakouō), in Ephesians 6:1 and the wife's "submission," ὑποτάσσω (hypotassō), in Ephesians 5:22 — different Greek words. A wife's submission is a voluntary Christian devotion, while a child's obedience is a direct, obligatory commandment based on parental authority.

This obedience being the first commandment with a promise means this relationship is not a mere moral rule but a spiritual principle directly tied to God's blessing — it is the foundation of all human relationships, and as our relationship with God is shaped through our relationship with our parents, honoring one's parents is a spiritual decision that acknowledges God's whole structure of authority.

7) By the way, this method of nurture, paideia and nouthesia, actually reflects the Lord's own means of teaching — always showing His disciples the example through His life first, then teaching them the word of truth clearly. Therefore, Ephesians 6:4 acknowledges that the Lord is the true educator of our children, using the Christian father as His instrument, so we, Christian parents, have to raise our children through both our own life example and the truth we tell them.

8) Today, through Ephesians 5 and 6, we have seen that the family is the first community God created — a community of love, worship, and salvation — in which parents bring up their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord, raising them as true disciples, while children honor their parents so as to make their inward reverence for God visible outwardly. Therefore, I pray that all of us gathered here would build our families rightly, so that children would honor their parents and enjoy long life and prosperity, while parents, as the Lord's representatives, would raise their children to be His disciples.

Key Questions as Small Group Activity

Q1 Through today's text, we became to know that in the family, children can enjoy the blessing of long life and prosperity in this world by honoring their parents, following the authority and order God has established. So, after reflecting on ourselves for a moment and looking at whether we, as children, are truly honoring our parents in this way, I hope we could share our thoughts and experiences with one another.

Q2 And also we became to know that parents have not to provoke to anger the children God has entrusted to them, rather bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. So, after reflecting on ourselves for a moment, and looking at whether we have been that kind of parent, and thinking about how we will live likewise, I hope we could share our thoughts, experiences, and the grace we have received with our team members.

Love you. Thank you. God bless you.

Prayer Note

Dear ( God's attribute which you found Today ) God!

Thanks for ( something you received through the sermon or even during the week )

Praise, gratitude and glory be to You, Lord!

Today, I realized my sin (pains) that ( the sin God reminded through the sermon ),

please forgive (or heal) me and help me not to repeat ( the sins you recognized ).

I learned that ( something you learned through the sermon )

Please help me to live in that ( learned way of life )

I pray in ( Jesus' attribute you find ) Jesus' name. Amen.